The Strange Case of the Disappearing Communities
A Response to the Current Fandom Apocalypse

(Sam/Dean, 665 words, for wildestranger)


Sam flips the lid of his laptop shut and looks up at Dean.

"I think I've got our next job."

Dean is busy devouring half a dead cow on a piece of bread, but he manages to spare just enough attention to raise his eyebrows. He makes an enquiring noise through his mouthful, and Sam kind of wishes he hadn't because it's gross.

"Yeah, it's a... a series of disappearances. Whole communities at a time. Thriving one minute, gone without warning the next."

Dean freezes mid-chew and makes another noise. His eyes are wide with concern but there's meat hanging out of his mouth that ruins the effect.

He gives a massive swallow and gulps down the burger.

"Any connection between the victims?"

Sam tries to hide his flush behind the pages of notes he'd scribbled down. Dean's not buying it though and yanks the pages from out of his hand. The tug of his lips into a smirk at the sight of San's face suggests the gig just got even more interesting to him.

"C'mon, Sammy, you're holding out on me."

"They... uh, well, they were into some pretty kinky things. Or... from the outside it looks like they were."

Dean's laugh is incredibly filthy and it makes Sam's cheeks burn even more brightly. He knows he should have picked up on the cat with wings article instead. There's no way Dean will be shaken off this one now.

"Well c'mon, gimme some details. How kinky are we talking?"

"Incest," snaps Sam. "For starters."

That shuts Dean up and Sam can be mildly pleased with himself for having managed that, at least.

His satisfaction lasts until he realises Dean is not stunned so much as considering.

"So... lemme get this straight: community is into incest, community disappears without a trace?" Dean spreads his hands - simple right? "Seems to me we've got to draw these fuckers out. Get on the inside and see what's happening."

Sam is shaking his head even before Dean gets any further.

"No, Dean. No. I mean it. No."

He tries to catch Dean's sleeve but the leather slips from his grasp and Dean is suddenly standing up, in the middle of the diner, clearing his throat and bathing in the warm glow of his audience.

"My name's Dean, and I'm into incest. Way into incest. In fact, I'm going to bang my kid brother, right here, right now! C'mon, somebody stop me! You heard, I loves me some incest!"

Sam jerks to his feet and tries to ignore the catcalls from the truckers. He catches Dean's shoulder and uses his greater height to manhandle him out of the diner.

Outside, in the dust and heat, he slams Dean against the side of the Impala.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy? This is not a sensible approach."

Dean looks up at him and it throws Sam again that he towers over his older brother.

"Dude," says Dean.

"What?" Sam starts to snarl but Dean pushes up onto his toes, grabs his face and shoves his tongue into his mouth.

Flaily-arms doesn't seem very effective against Dean kissing him. If anything, Dean's hands on his jaw tighten. Sam tries to express his disapproval but it ends up sounding like a moan. Then it mostly sounds like Dean sucking on his tongue.

Sam steadies himself with a hand on the heated metal of the Impala and somehow that means his other hand has to end up on the other side of Dean, and he really doesn't mean to have Dean caged against the car but it's Dean's own fault for fucking Sam's mouth with his tongue anyway.

Then Dean lets him go and Sam drags in air. He stumbles forward, sagging against the car, while Dean licks his lips and waves at the truckers watching through the diner's windows.

Dean pats him on the shoulder and says,

"Don't worry, Sammy, we'll say aliens made us do it."